Is it worth it ?

It has been a busy week, with the long weekend and shit. I'm so tired mentally and physically my body is just moving for the sake of moving. Well, April ended and May's in. Its been too long already. Gotta seriously reconsider all my options.

I've got a feeling everything's gonna change soon. I've been adapting to change pretty well. But I'm not sure if I even have the will and strength to carry on believing that I'm able to. Looking at my shifts, the amount of extra hours I need to put in (not that I have a choice), I'm not sure if it is worth it anymore. Even hitting my target for this 2 months, I still feel it is not enough to cover the shortfall in January. I'm also beginning to question what do I get in the end ?

The satisfaction ? Not any impact.

The glory/reputation ? Not necessary.

Sadly, the world has changed to a more practical place. Suitable rewards are to be bestowed on to those who put in hard work. At the end, at times like this, I strongly believe there is no one who'll work so hard for so little. Pay peanuts you get monkeys. There is some truth in this but then again, who am I to complain ? The job's not hard, the hours are long and my team is pretty good together.

The saddest thing is that I'm always procrastinating. I want to move on, I feel numb. But some part of me feels this tiny tinge of responsibility. It may be dumb to think so. No one is indispensable to the company. But I'm thankful for all the chances the company has given me, and the opportunity to learn new things. But is it all worth it ?

Well ..

Song of the moment - Two is better than one by Boys like Girls