大雨帶我逃亡

大雨狂奔狂飛
帶著我的心碎
往事哭瞎我的眼睛
也沒有感覺
愛你愛到不能後退
走到哪裡都是崩潰
埋葬我的善良純潔
竟然是你的後悔

Motivation

Its the 4th week of school and I am still not in the zone ! damn it ! I need more motivation to work on the assignments I have on hand.




My left knee swelled up pretty bad, i'm walking with a slight limp now, hopefully will be fine in time for this Sunday.





Went drinking yesterday night with Jason and some of his friends. Some place at ponggol. Good pub, cheap booze and best of all not much people, like having a personal K-Box session. Kim has a wonderful voice. Sing that time summore very emotional.





Bought a new bball shorts on Sunday, to support the never ending bballing sessions. Went with pork for dinner at McDonalds and we were entertained through out dinner, this crazy girl kept shouting over the phone saying stuff like "What you want ?!", "You disappoint me !", "Lan Jiao !" and not forgetting the speech of the day -- "At least got people want me lor ! I hope you got no girlfriend, no wife and cannot get married" FTW ! (She's not a looker btw)





Life is super sian. I need to find my motivation.

"Jason acting emo"

Another good Thursday perhaps ?

Words

说了又不听,
听了又不懂,
懂了又不做,
做了又做错,
错了又不认,
认了又不改,
改了也不服,
不服也不说,
说了也白说

a part of me died

I never thought a day like this would arrive, after all, being accustomed to constant denial of happiness was pretty much routine. But it did, even though it lasted while it lasted, I basked in the mere satisfaction that for once i wasn't forgotten, i got my shot at being slightly contented with my wretched life.

I tried, I tried, I tried, but failed so miserably and that made my existence insignificant. Friends were there to drag my lifeless, wearied body, only to make myself suffer more abuse which was pleasingly satisfying.

It didn't matter how long the time was, the impact was strong, perhaps the lack of substantial elements to warm the heart can make a sane man insane. Without anything to offer, he's just like a fortune's fool finding a place that he can be accepted.

I wonder, sometimes, is there more to life than what it is as we know it ? What if in the end its all for nothing ? a null, a void, a disconsolateness prospect ? Would I still want to carry on ? Perhaps its that defining moment we're looking for, a life changing event that would shake even the strong willed to their very core. Is accepting and embracing what destiny holds for us the answer ? or is it merely all a lie that we choose to believe, deciving ourselves that there is more to life than it is now ?

Though mildly irrational, I try to move on, but get stuck in an array of traps not even set up yet. A part of me dies everytime i attempt to wake myself from this discontent. I'm pretty messed up eh ?

Xie Xie Ni Men ..

Thank you guys for hearing me out, listening to my rubbish and being there for me these few days. Life's pretty fucked up, but you guys just make the shit smell so much nicer (:

Life's moments

One moment you feel like you're soaring through the sky, the other, your wings are wounded, grounded and tired of life itself.

Drink Drank Drunk ..

Beautiful things

Sometimes, beautiful things happen when you least expect it eh ?

JB supper

Lousy Kolo Mee recommendation by Jason. Drove all the bloody way and back. Did not eat much. Drank a little. Tired and pretty broke now. Down to my last $22. and 80 cents.

Foot Reflex and Steamboat

Sunday Bball season resumed. We played till 1pm. The nurse FFK last min. Didn't go to sentosa as planned. Pork also had tuition. Jason came over and we slacked at my place for an hour before deciding to go Bishan for McDonalds. Moved on to Chinatown for massage. Went to my usual feet reflex place to do a 45 mins treatment.

"Jason in pain"

"Hit the spot"

Jason got a female therapist, Lily, i got a male therapist, Steven. Apparently Lily has the strength to make Jason squirm.

Met up with Lisa after that for steamboat.

"Void Deck"

"Tanks act sian"

Did not take any photos of the steamboat session though. Too busy eating. After that we went L4D ! Lisa's first time playing, and no suprises there, she was screaming most of the time.

The things people will do for love

There are many strange things people will do for love, or at least in the name of love. Sometimes, it makes you wonder if the things people do for love is admirable or just plain stupidity. Giving one's all isn't a bad thing, but blindly giving one's all irrationally is just absurd !


Sometimes, love just ain't enough to justify the things you do. When you see it from another perspective, perhaps all the giver wants is appreciation from the receiver. Its probably the greatest satisfaction one can get.

Have you done anything for love recently ?