losing it

I'm really losing it .. Not sure whats worth it and whats not .. I'm so tired everyday, I come home, switch on my computer, bathe and sleep and the next day the same shit all over again .. It shouldn't be this hard right ? sigh ..

Certainly all jobs has it perks and downside .. but when the downtime exceeds the good times, is it a cue to change jobs ? Or is it just that a rough patch that you'll bound to face sooner or later ?

I think the toughest part of the job is the heart .. or human relations .. What defines a successful boss ? Being able to retain staff and steering the business to be a profitable one for the company ? Striking the balance of staff turnover and loss sales ? Its all bullshit to say that everyone is willing to die for a boss and willing to work for him/her .. He/She is only one man .. how can he/she satisfy everyone ? Compromise ? - that would strain his power and ego .. Hack it ? - Good for colleagues bad for business .. Look into everything ? - Not giving enough space for personal development ..

Therefore I strongly believe in one thing .. You may be the best person in the company .. Good sales, strong team, united staff .. But one thing's for sure .. it doesn't really define a successful boss .. I just think that being a successful boss is striking the balance in reining your subordinates and most importantly being happy with your decisions and finding satisfaction and pride in your work .. I know its not superior than the "awesome" bosses, but at least you're successful in life right ? and to be very honest .. your job is just one part of your life ..

Sometimes I don't even know what the heck I'm rambling about .. but you see .. thats the glorious part of my blog .. I write what shit I want .. and you can read what shit you want ..

People have been asking me If I'm dating someone now, due to certain posts by me on facebook .. just to clarify .. they're from songs that just happen to be playing on my computer and somehow or rather, the songs had super awesome lyrics ..

But anyway .. I miss her .. I do .. but under certain circumstances, it seems like there is no hint or even a slight ray of hope that there is a future for us. I talk to her, I feel very much at ease. Most importantly, I'm happy .. But the sad truth always stems from the corniest quotes - "the futherest distance is that I'm standing right infront of you and I can't tell you I love you" .. Is it fear of rejection ? Or knowingly it'll go no where that you don't even bother ?

Crap .. I think I'm in dire need of sleep .. before I go crazy ..

Song of the moment - 一生何求 by 陈百强

Random rants

Entering phase 2 of Remedial Training .. it sucks .. SG Gahmen has a way of making your life fucked up .. think of it this way .. they're paying $10 every RT training to each man clocked in .. that gonna be alot of money .. I'd rather pay the bloody $200 and save my bloody time .. seriously .. bloody waste of time ..

Anyway, work has not been smooth sailing too .. the dynamics of my team is faltering .. I'm beginning to reconsider options opened to me..sigh .. I really need a break ..

Its the NBA all star weekend .. Blake Griffin won the dunk contest by jumping over a car .. pretty sick stuff ..

I have nothing much to blog about actually .. not really in a blogging mood .. I'm just blogging just because ting ting is asking me to update my blog .. haha .. so here is a shoutout to u ting ting :D KTV soon eh ? haha

Blog again when I have the mood ..

Till then ..

Song of the moment - If you run by The Boxer Rebellion

Epic dialogue

A classic line .. the awesome-mest .. of epic proportions ..


曾經有一份真誠的愛擺在我的面前，但是我沒有珍惜，
等到失去的時候才後悔莫及，塵世間最痛苦的事莫過於此。
如果上天可以給我個機會再來一次的話，我會對這個女孩說我愛她，
如果非要在這份愛加上一個期限，我希望是一萬年......

Song of the moment - Still got the blues by Gary Moore

The rebound

Just watched this movie with pork a little while back .. 1 word .. AWESOME !

It reminded me alot about her .. The pressure of dating someone older .. But movies always have it good .. things seem so perfect .. Good movie to start the Lunar New Year ..

Not forgetting to mention Catherine Zeta-Jones is smoking hot ! Everyone should go watch it !

Song of the moment - Good times by Edie Brickell

How true

Here .. take a deep breath .. if you can still smell the kopi .. life is not all that bad ..

Random Musings

I've been really confused recently .. What the hell am I thinking ? Is everything really worth all that trouble ? Everyone wants the easy way out, sadly there is no easy way out in life. I would now see it as a wager .. Potentially you might lose everything .. maybe you might win a little .. but one thing's for sure .. you can never take the house down ..

It was pretty nice to talk to some of my staff at work .. the kids nowadays are smarter .. faster .. and more scheming resourceful .. Everyday I'm learning new things .. I'm not being condescending .. its merely just a little hard to be like what bosses should be in the past. Never yielding never compromising ..

I guess it's good to go back to basics and communicate as friends rather than given or giving instructions to follow.

There was a time when I let my emotions control my actions .. now that I'm much older and hopefully wiser .. I realise that everything is clearer to me .. I don't see my female colleagues the way I would see them when I was 17 years old .. Its a sign I'm getting old ..

But one thing I'm sure of .. as tiring as it can be to be in charge of things .. I'm gonna forget what I thought I was and I'm gonna accept who I am now .. Life's not that hard .. That I'm convincing myself .. maybe things will be better in this new year ..

Happy Lunar New Year people ..

Song of the moment - Good times by Edie Brickell

Behold .. Beauty ...

Chinese New Year 2011

Chinese New Year has dawned upon us once more .. Go ahead .. let it all go .. indulge in fattening goodies .. house visitings and ang pows galore .. Well .. as much as I'd love to enjoy my CNY with my family, it is quite saddening that I'll be working through CNY .. not the first for me though .. so I'm still pretty used to it. Anyway, it'll be fine .. CNY is not what it used to be like before.

Nonetheless, nothing to worry about .. with my family, everyday can be CNY !

How will you spend your CNY ?

Song of the moment - 圣诞结 by 陈奕迅