losing it

I'm really losing it .. Not sure whats worth it and whats not .. I'm so tired everyday, I come home, switch on my computer, bathe and sleep and the next day the same shit all over again .. It shouldn't be this hard right ? sigh ..

Certainly all jobs has it perks and downside .. but when the downtime exceeds the good times, is it a cue to change jobs ? Or is it just that a rough patch that you'll bound to face sooner or later ?

I think the toughest part of the job is the heart .. or human relations .. What defines a successful boss ? Being able to retain staff and steering the business to be a profitable one for the company ? Striking the balance of staff turnover and loss sales ? Its all bullshit to say that everyone is willing to die for a boss and willing to work for him/her .. He/She is only one man .. how can he/she satisfy everyone ? Compromise ? - that would strain his power and ego .. Hack it ? - Good for colleagues bad for business .. Look into everything ? - Not giving enough space for personal development ..

Therefore I strongly believe in one thing .. You may be the best person in the company .. Good sales, strong team, united staff .. But one thing's for sure .. it doesn't really define a successful boss .. I just think that being a successful boss is striking the balance in reining your subordinates and most importantly being happy with your decisions and finding satisfaction and pride in your work .. I know its not superior than the "awesome" bosses, but at least you're successful in life right ? and to be very honest .. your job is just one part of your life ..

Sometimes I don't even know what the heck I'm rambling about .. but you see .. thats the glorious part of my blog .. I write what shit I want .. and you can read what shit you want ..

People have been asking me If I'm dating someone now, due to certain posts by me on facebook .. just to clarify .. they're from songs that just happen to be playing on my computer and somehow or rather, the songs had super awesome lyrics ..

But anyway .. I miss her .. I do .. but under certain circumstances, it seems like there is no hint or even a slight ray of hope that there is a future for us. I talk to her, I feel very much at ease. Most importantly, I'm happy .. But the sad truth always stems from the corniest quotes - "the futherest distance is that I'm standing right infront of you and I can't tell you I love you" .. Is it fear of rejection ? Or knowingly it'll go no where that you don't even bother ?

Crap .. I think I'm in dire need of sleep .. before I go crazy ..

Song of the moment - 一生何求 by 陈百强