Hard decisions

What draws the line between respect and insubordination? I know that I cannot accept disrespectful people but the thing is, do we give others a chance to explain their actions before handing out the verdict? Were there circumstances or factors that pushed them to their behaviour?


I feel for people who are lower in "rank" coz I was one of them before. I understand how they feel especially when they have to leave "home" to look for greener pastures. But does it give them the right to be disrespectful?


I hold a relatively "prominent" rank at work. My decisions will affect the company one way or another. My decisions also decides my future and impression of "work" me. Most importantly, my decision affects others as well. The responsibility is huge, and not that I'm not up for it.. I do embrace the pressure and responsibility, but at times, I do think that its really not an easy decision to make when you are mad or angry for some reason. The mistake I've made, be it with relationships or work when I was younger, is that I make decisions based on my thoughts and feelings at the point of time when I wasn't at my mental best. Does it spell fairness? Not at all. As I grew up, I decided to control my emotions and think with a clear head before making major decisions that might fuck up someone elses life.


I guess I'm making this decision based on the bigger picture and to protect a greater cause. I'm not sure if this is the right decision to make and I know very well that in order to be a "respected" leader, you have to be firm and cold-heartedly stand by your decision, no wavering, no hesitating. I'm not saying I'm not able to make life changing decisions. But it is truly hard when someone elses life is at stake.


I don't feel good, not because I'm questioning myself if I've made the right decision. I'm sure I made the right one. But perhaps deep down inside, that vulnerable sympathetic part of me just feels sorry for the decision.


It's been a pretty shitty day for me.


Song of the moment - Home by Kit Chan