Tips on being a good customer

Its the weekend of sequel-ed men ! ip man 2 and ironman 2. Both movies have awesome trailers and I'll be watching ip man 2 with porky in a while.

In the meanwhile, I've got something to share from one of the greatest book written by Steve Dublanica. Waiter Rant. It is meant for people who are waiters or were once waiters. It is an awesome book ! The only differences are that its setting is that of fine dining in the United States and the tipping part, which differs greatly from Singapore's practices.

So, inspired by book, I proudly present tips on being a good customer. This is dedicated to my hard working staff at the establishment I work in.

1) Make reservations and keep them. More importantly, be on time, you wouldn't want us to hold back your table while a queue snakes down the entrance, it makes it difficult for our hostess to seat other customers and your held back table becomes an eyesore.

2) If you're going to be late for your reservation, please call. We will hold back the table for as long as we can. On a weekend if somehow you've managed to get a table reservation with us and you are 30 minutes late, don't bother coming, turn around and go to the nearest McDonalds.

3) Never say, "I'm friends with the restaurant manager/owner." Restaurant managers / owners do not have any friends. This marks you as a clueless poseur the moment you walk into the restaurant.

4) Seat where you're seated ! Whenever hostesses attempt to seat guests, many customers (usually females) will walk past the proffered seat and hunt around the restaurant for a better table. Please, let the hostess do her job. She's trying to seat customers evenly so that everyone gets the best service possible. And if your waiter hears you whining about your table, he or she will know you are an annoying snob who thinks you're entitled to undeserved rock star treatment. Your waiter haven't even met you yet and you've already got a strike against you. How wonderful. The food taste equally good on regular tables and on booth seats.

5) Be polite. Say please and thank you. Be courteous to the hostess, waiters and managers at the establishment you're dining at . Treat others as you want to be treated. (Yes, people need to be reminded of this)

6) Never say, "Do you know who I am?" Why ? Did you forgot who you are ?

7) Do not snap your fingers to get the waiter's attention. Remember, we have shears that cut through bone in the kitchen.

8) Tell your kid to put away the PSP and sit up straight.

9) Do not use your laptop while eating dinner. And don't ask for a table next to a power point you cheap bastard.

10) Please make your sever go through the specials only once, spread the word around your table of 20. We do not wish to repeat the long list of specials again and again and again ...........

11) Order clearly. Say what you want. Your waiter is not psychic. Clarify the order with the waiter who, if he's smart will repeat the order back to you. You do not want cow on your table when you ordered chicken and your waiter doesn't want to bring the wrong cow back to the kitchen to get screwed by the chef.

12) Don't order off the menu. There is a reason why the menu items are as it is. It doesn't mean that we sell tuna and rice, we can make you sushi. When you order and change things in the menu, you're forcing the chef into a situation where he's cooking something he doesn't make on a regular basis. In a restaurant kitchen, repetition is the key to consistency. You want your heart surgeon to have done ten thousand by passes before he cracks open your chest right? Same with a chef. If he makes the same entree ten thousand times a month, chances are the dish would be a home run every time he churns out one.

13) Reasonable menu changes are all right for food allergies. Don't lie and say that you have an allergy so that the chef will make something special just for you. You know who you are.

14) The secret to being treated like a regular customer? Be a regular customer. Everybody likes to have a favourite restaurant whereby the waiter knows his favourite drink and the owner makes a fuss over him. We all want a special place where we'll always get a good table or a last minute reservation. The problem is, most patrons think they're entitled to that level of fawning on their first visit to the restaurant. Wrong ! If you want to be treated like a regular customer, you have to patronize an establishment at least once or twice a month. And don't be an ass when you're dining with us.

15) Don't monopolize the waiter's time. Sure I'd like to talk with you, only if I have 5 waiters but only 2 tables in the restaurant. And please, call me over when you are ready to order. I don't want to stand by your table while your date is a clueless person who has no idea what he/she wants. I can always come back later.

16) Don't ask for seperate checks at the end of the meal. That's your problem. You should have told me earlier.


Most of the above mentioned are copied word for word from the book. But I've added little bits and pieces to them to make it easier to relate.

Working in the service industry, you get to meet people from different walks of life. It doesn't get dull and probably its the only reason why I'm still working in a restaurant part time.

Song of the moment - Somebody's Baby by Jackson Browne