Random Pictures of awesomeness

Some random photos in my phone.

First off, I see her almost everyday on my way to work. She's pretty, She has charisma & She poses like a goddess.

Makes me wanna eat a magnum now.

Next up, mini snack made by ah shan. Its filled with duck meat. Its like a 鸭堡包. lol. Simple good and awesome.

This was on Ye Yi's last day, I was teaching her to do some stuff on the office computer when I noticed she was wearing a hoodie. And this is what we do for hoodies. We put it over our heads and look like a giant peanut. lol.

Last but not least, during work, my hostess will announce through our push to talk on the amount of guest in the queue and the table arrangement required. Usually they'd say "I need a table for 2 + 1 pram".

I'd usually ask them back "The guest want to leave their Mercedes outside or want to bring in?" or "The guest parking their Ferrari at host or drive in ?" (For idiots who don't get it, Ferrari/Mercedes refers to the baby pram ._.)

Well. ummm. Ok .. The Ferrari was parked outside. lol.

Song of the moment - Never Say Never by The Fray

Complains from an asshat

I'm going to share something with my beloved readers. I personally think that it is one of the funniest shit ever. It might be frowned upon if my superiors ever read this but still, lets be bold and do it.

Below is a complaint letter from a guest to the establishment I work at. Word for word but i censored out the place in question.

"I was at ____________ on friday 15 apr 2011 around 815-900pm. I was with 3 other friends having our dinner. I ordered an icecream milkshake and the bread with tomato (forgotten the name of that dish). My other 2 friends ordered Salad buffet and the last of my friend ordered a fish and chips it came with a free buffet salad. After eating for awhile my friend felt that he couldnt eat fish and chips as he was full already so i helped him some of the fish and chips. Awhile later a waitress approached us and told us we werent suppose to share the meal. I explained to her that i was just eating the fish and chips and i under no circumstance touch the salad at all. She acknowledge and replied ok and when to tell another staff something. Therefore we expected her to accept our explaination or at least tell us however she never came back. After eating finish we called for bill. Much to our suprise we were charged for 4 salad , 1 fish and chips , 1 milkshake and 1 bread with tomato. We told the staff that it was a mistake and she took pretty long to think so i suggested that she call her manager as she said she couldnt do anything. The manager came and heard our explaination and edited the receipt. Another staff came and pass us the receipt. My friends and I felt that the manager since he was called down should at least came back to acknowledge however it wasnt the case.
I felt that the staff at that outlet mainly those i had interaction with had very poor attitude. If the staff who approached us first couldnt make the call about it she should call her manager straight and not set the bill at 4 salad buffet. The second staff who pass us the bill was tilting the bill at a weird angle and was taken aback when we ask to confirm the bill. Did she know that there was something wrong or she just had a weird way to show the bill to us. Finally I was disappointed that the manager attitude after listening was like "oh ok" and when on doing his rounds i felt it reflected very poorly on the staff of that outlet.

I hope you can explain what happened that day as it was quite weird as I was with other friends as well. Thanks"

After reading this feedback, I started to think. wtf is that ? It is fucking hilarious. So below will be the exact same thing, but with my comments bold and brackets. Hopefully you see what I mean..

"I was at ____________ (Well, for one thing, this idiot spelled the name of the establishment I work in wrongly. Can't even get the name of the god damn place right ?) on friday 15 apr 2011 around 815-900pm. I was with 3 other friends having our dinner. I ordered an icecream milkshake and the bread with tomato (forgotten the name of that dish) (Seriously ? Bread with Tomato ? Its called freaking Bruschetta, Don't even know what dish you ordered ?) . My other 2 friends ordered Salad buffet and the last of my friend (Can see why you only have 3 friends left .. literally the "last" of your friend) ordered afish (afish ? ohhh . A [space] fish) and chips it came with a free buffet salad. After eating for awhile my friend felt that he couldnt eat fish and chips as he was full already so i helped him some of the fish and chips. (helped him some of the fish and chips ? which means ??) Awhile later a waitress approached us and told us we werent suppose to share the meal. (Sure the waitress said that ? Share the MEAL ? Basically the restaurant will not give a shit to how many people you share your meal with, you could buy a fish and chips, chop it up to 500 pieces and feed 500 starving kids in Africa and the restaurant won't give a shit unless you do no pay for it) I explained to her that i was just eating the fish and chips and i under no circumstance touch the salad at all. (Oh, so you meant the salad bar that comes with the meal, now I get it..) She acknowledge and replied ok and when (When? what time? oh.... WENT ... ) to tell another staff something. (What ? her panties is wedged up her ass crack ? Sensitive asshat) Therefore we expected her to accept our explaination or at least tell us however she never came back. (You already said she ACKNOWLEDGE already, what more do you want ? The waitress to give you a hug and a kiss ?) After eating finish we called for bill. Much to our suprise we were charged for 4 salad , 1 fish and chips , 1 milkshake and 1 bread with tomato (BRUSCHETTA ! God Damn It !). We told the staff that it was a mistake and she took pretty long to think so i suggested that she call her manager as she said she couldnt do anything. The manager came and heard our explaination and edited the receipt. Another staff came and pass us the receipt. My friends and I felt that the manager since he was called down should at least came back to acknowledge however it wasnt the case.
I felt that the staff at that outlet mainly those i had interaction with had very poor attitude. (Serving cheap guests would naturally make the server's attitude skewered) If the staff who approached us first couldnt make the call about it she should call her manager straight and not set the bill at 4 salad buffet. The second staff who pass us the bill was tilting the bill at a weird angle (THIS IS THE FUCKING PART THAT CRACKED ME UP. TILT THE BILL AT A WEIRD ANGLE ? HAHAHAHAHA FUCKING HILARIOUS ! So this is a wake up call for all customer service representative in Singapore. Each and everyone must bring along with them a compass and a ruler, while presenting the bill, DO TAKE NOTE OF THE CORRECT ANGEL TO SHOW GUEST THE BILL, a recommendation would be 45 Degrees from the table to the face. With precise length of 10cm off the table for optimal view of the bill.) and was taken aback when we ask to confirm the bill. ("Sir, please remain calm. Do not be taken back by what I'm going to ask you to do. Remember Sir, remember to remain calm and don't go into epileptic shock now.. Sir .. Please check and confirm your bill.." HAHAHAHA seriously funny, my assistant managers laughed like mad. You've gotta be there when I said this to them to feel its absurdness) Did she know that there was something wrong or she just had a weird way to show the bill to us. (I believe maybe the government should set a STANDARD and pass a law on the CORRECT way of showing a bill to a guest) Finally I was disappointed that the manager attitude after listening was like "oh ok" (Empathy is shown on the faces of your server if you were nice to them. Remember, treat others the way you want to be treated. And by the way, what did you expect ? The manager to get all the waitresses to stand in a line an bow in deepest apology for charging a buffet salad that you DID consumer knowingly that you had no entitlement to and that you refused to admit and take the recommendation of just topping up the difference so you could enjoy the Salad Buffet as well? ) and when on doing his rounds i felt it reflected very poorly on the staff of that outlet.

I hope you can explain what happened that day as it was quite weird as I was with other friends as well. (So it'll be all okay with you were with your parents instead of your friends ?) Thanks"

So thats it. I found out about the entire situation from my colleagues as I wasn't in that day. I can only say - if you can't afford to eat out, stay at home. There is an international rule EVERYWHERE in the bloody world that Buffets are not meant for sharing and transferring. If you get caught sharing/transferring, usually, the restaurant will exercise their flexibility and not charge you the first time round. Yes, the servers will talk amongst themselves, but shame on your to share when you're not entitled to the buffet. Live with it. Do not attempt to try it again as most servers will have their eyes on your table. Salvage some pride and ask the restaurant to charge you, it'll show that you can afford it and you can enjoy the buffet like a free man. Eating the crap out of yourself without giving a shit what others say, simply coz you PAID.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not that mean to laugh at someone else's command of the English Language, I do not write perfect English, I try to speak proper English, but please dear god, If you intend to write a complain to a company at least get someone to vet through your bloody letter before sending it out.

Asshat -___-"

Song of the moment - Beautiful Girl by INXS

Funnies off the web

This is super lol ..

Don't we all love Mcdonalds ?

WIN !

Song of the moment - Fix you by Coldplay

This cracked me up

Seriously .. This made me laugh like mad ..

Song of the moment - Hello by Lionel Richie <-- has to be this right ? lol

How hambugler came about

Song of the moment - If by Bread

The Perfect Girlfriend

HAHA !!

Song of the moment - Say it Right by Nelly Furtado

funnies

World cup is starting :D

CHC have many Judas

Holy money, Ghost money and yes, when God WILL ensure that money used by the church will be legal. Wait wait wait !! then again, if CHC fails the test, it'll be Judas fault.

Wonder what the church taught him.

Donnie Yen is awesome !

I was browsing through yahoo news and there is this one article regarding the possibility of Ip Man as a trilogy. And Jay Chou is slated to be playing Ip's famous student Bruce Lee.
The news is great for fans of the Ip Man franchise. But what got me was the last phrase by Donnie Yen.


[Even lead actor Donnie Yen dismissed another quick sequel. "Let's wait for the script. Also, if Jay Chou is acting as Bruce Lee, I would need half a year to train him for his kungfu to look convincing."]

Haha !!! come on Donnie .. did you see Jay Chou and his whip in Trasure Hunter ?!?!?! Haha .. I know Jay Chou fans will hate me for this but I'm still gonna say this. Donnie is the man ! Haha !

Song of the moment - Luka by Olivia Ong

Tips on being a good customer

Its the weekend of sequel-ed men ! ip man 2 and ironman 2. Both movies have awesome trailers and I'll be watching ip man 2 with porky in a while.

In the meanwhile, I've got something to share from one of the greatest book written by Steve Dublanica. Waiter Rant. It is meant for people who are waiters or were once waiters. It is an awesome book ! The only differences are that its setting is that of fine dining in the United States and the tipping part, which differs greatly from Singapore's practices.

So, inspired by book, I proudly present tips on being a good customer. This is dedicated to my hard working staff at the establishment I work in.

1) Make reservations and keep them. More importantly, be on time, you wouldn't want us to hold back your table while a queue snakes down the entrance, it makes it difficult for our hostess to seat other customers and your held back table becomes an eyesore.

2) If you're going to be late for your reservation, please call. We will hold back the table for as long as we can. On a weekend if somehow you've managed to get a table reservation with us and you are 30 minutes late, don't bother coming, turn around and go to the nearest McDonalds.

3) Never say, "I'm friends with the restaurant manager/owner." Restaurant managers / owners do not have any friends. This marks you as a clueless poseur the moment you walk into the restaurant.

4) Seat where you're seated ! Whenever hostesses attempt to seat guests, many customers (usually females) will walk past the proffered seat and hunt around the restaurant for a better table. Please, let the hostess do her job. She's trying to seat customers evenly so that everyone gets the best service possible. And if your waiter hears you whining about your table, he or she will know you are an annoying snob who thinks you're entitled to undeserved rock star treatment. Your waiter haven't even met you yet and you've already got a strike against you. How wonderful. The food taste equally good on regular tables and on booth seats.

5) Be polite. Say please and thank you. Be courteous to the hostess, waiters and managers at the establishment you're dining at . Treat others as you want to be treated. (Yes, people need to be reminded of this)

6) Never say, "Do you know who I am?" Why ? Did you forgot who you are ?

7) Do not snap your fingers to get the waiter's attention. Remember, we have shears that cut through bone in the kitchen.

8) Tell your kid to put away the PSP and sit up straight.

9) Do not use your laptop while eating dinner. And don't ask for a table next to a power point you cheap bastard.

10) Please make your sever go through the specials only once, spread the word around your table of 20. We do not wish to repeat the long list of specials again and again and again ...........

11) Order clearly. Say what you want. Your waiter is not psychic. Clarify the order with the waiter who, if he's smart will repeat the order back to you. You do not want cow on your table when you ordered chicken and your waiter doesn't want to bring the wrong cow back to the kitchen to get screwed by the chef.

12) Don't order off the menu. There is a reason why the menu items are as it is. It doesn't mean that we sell tuna and rice, we can make you sushi. When you order and change things in the menu, you're forcing the chef into a situation where he's cooking something he doesn't make on a regular basis. In a restaurant kitchen, repetition is the key to consistency. You want your heart surgeon to have done ten thousand by passes before he cracks open your chest right? Same with a chef. If he makes the same entree ten thousand times a month, chances are the dish would be a home run every time he churns out one.

13) Reasonable menu changes are all right for food allergies. Don't lie and say that you have an allergy so that the chef will make something special just for you. You know who you are.

14) The secret to being treated like a regular customer? Be a regular customer. Everybody likes to have a favourite restaurant whereby the waiter knows his favourite drink and the owner makes a fuss over him. We all want a special place where we'll always get a good table or a last minute reservation. The problem is, most patrons think they're entitled to that level of fawning on their first visit to the restaurant. Wrong ! If you want to be treated like a regular customer, you have to patronize an establishment at least once or twice a month. And don't be an ass when you're dining with us.

15) Don't monopolize the waiter's time. Sure I'd like to talk with you, only if I have 5 waiters but only 2 tables in the restaurant. And please, call me over when you are ready to order. I don't want to stand by your table while your date is a clueless person who has no idea what he/she wants. I can always come back later.

16) Don't ask for seperate checks at the end of the meal. That's your problem. You should have told me earlier.


Most of the above mentioned are copied word for word from the book. But I've added little bits and pieces to them to make it easier to relate.

Working in the service industry, you get to meet people from different walks of life. It doesn't get dull and probably its the only reason why I'm still working in a restaurant part time.

Song of the moment - Somebody's Baby by Jackson Browne

Pacman

How True

song of the moment - She wolf by Shakira

Funnies off the net

The Man hug



Awwww .. or maybe not.

iPad joke, now visual

iPhone kicks Berry in the nuts

At times, you'd like to do this .. HADUKEN !

Awesome !

Song of the moment - Heal the world 2010.

Ad

Some of my friends did not get this ad. I'm not sure if they were able to click to enlarge it but I'll explain.

This is one of the most "convincing" ad I've seen in a long long long time.

The 2 line reads "You know you're not the first. But do you really care ?"

It is an ad from BMW selling 2nd Hand cars.

Song of the moment - 深秋的黎明 by 黎明

Funnies

For job seekers, go be a Yoga Teacher. Picture is self-explainatory.

"Probably the best job in the world"

And if sometimes you lose your way, not to worry, get the latest GPS !

heterosexuality test

Guys, if you see a guy in this picture, you are officially gay.

Don't you feel like this at times ?

Funnies

I was blog surfing and net surfing the other day and saw these photos. They're super funny.

From Winblog -

Awesome !

Random photo seemingly harmless ..

The follow pictures are from College Humor

"This dude finally found the secret level to the game !"

"Swine flu"

"Free Condoms !"

"Need to improve splling"

"The funniest of the lot - MILF"

Song of the moment - Rain or Shine by Five Star

Company Wars

The stage was set; it was an all out war between the companies. The strategic alliance between L co., K co., and S co. as well as the other alliance between G co and J co. The mission - to earn as much revenue by the end of 10 weeks.

Lead by the market leader J co., and with G co. commanding the second largest market share, the might of this alliance between these two companies seemed unparallel. The other alliance between K co., S co. and L co. looked as if they were venturing into a very saturated market, never able to make an impact.

Week 1 – 4. As predicted, the might of J co. and G co. was too much for K co., S co. and L co. to bear. By week 5, the former had a lead of 60 million dollars. K co. called on an urgent board meeting between its partners. K co. wanted to pull out. S co. was still lost in the fray, trying its best to hang on with its meagre sales. L co. had its stand – never to give up until the 10 weeks are up.

As the weeks went by, it seemed to take a toll on G co. And L co. strategically used this opportunity to distract G co. spreading market rumours, making G co.’s shareholders uneasy. This plan was backed up by S co. and K co. The plan worked. Market leader J co. had to pick up the slack, putting unnecessary pressure on itself.

Capitalising on this window of opportunity, L co. seized the chance to close in on J co. and G co. By closing two 30 million dollar deals, L co. brought his alliance within striking distance while motivating K co. along the way. This spurred on S co. to perform at a constant pace.

By the 9th week, it was pretty obvious the tables have turned. Hot on J co. and G co.’s heels, the other team was about to close in to draw victory. J co. by now called in G co. for an emergency meeting, after analysing market trends and with much data analysis, the regained composure and finished off week 10 with an impressive sales figure.

Week 10 – K co. and S co. submitted their final revenue, with the 2 companies combined taking down G co.’s revenue with 4 million to spare. A commendable effort for 2 relatively small businesses to outshine the second largest market share holder.

J co. submitted its sales. Impressive sales figure at 127 million. It was L co.’s turn. L co. had a last shot at garnering more sales with a final client. G co. and J co. made a last ditch attempt to create a distraction to L co. This was when the smaller but feistier S co. and K co. stepped up and took control of the situation, dumping all resources to hold back their competitors. L co. took the last client in the meeting room. And after what seemed like eternity, he emerged out, with its head held high, the client accepted the proposal, 20 million. L co. managed to match J co.’s sales figure at 127 million.

The market witness the fall of the great company – J co. The mission ended, L co. wrote off J co.’s figures, but it was the combined effort of S co. and K co. making sure the 4 million separated them from G co.

It was over, victory was sweet, and a mere 4 million separated the two alliances. The losing alliance graciously accepted defeat. S co. was basking in its unexpected success and K co. learnt a valuable lesson on this very day – Never give up until it’s over.





Song of the moment - The power of Love by Celine Dion

Mulan

Watched Mulan with Sanny,Grace,Joel,Meiyee & En en. Its was war thorughout the show. Even when the sandstorm passed and as the soldiers were getting up from the settled dust, Sanny and Meiyee laughed at the horse standing up. Oh my god.

Song of the moment - The Last Time by Eric Benet

Frankie didn't turn up for class

Today, Frankie didn't turn up for class. Some miscommunication. Naturally, I got the crazy people to take photos. My idea -

Awesomeness

Song of the moment - Haven't met you yet by Michael Bublé